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[personal profile] martasfic
I've been thinking about beta-reading as disability accommodation lately. Don't let the jargony words scare you off, please, because I think this should be important to all kinds of folks who craft fandom spaces. Plus it's interesting.

As a kid I was diagnosed with a variety of written-expression disorders, and as a teen with ADHD. Add to that a few psychological issues stemming from some prolonged and complicated grief that built up some truly unhelpful coping mechanisms over the last decade, not least of all most of the symptoms of clinical depression (can't be diagnosed as such, apparently, because it's based in experiences to which those symptoms are rational responses, but as my therapist points out, if it quacks like a duck....), and a self-esteem so microscopic they're still working on the instruments sensitive enough to detect it.

There's that dark sense of humor that's not all that helpful. ;-)

And really, I'm not aiming at sympathy here. I'm not 100% convinced those diagnoses are all on the money, though there's something mighty familiar in a lot of them. I also don't think I'm necessarily unique. In parts, but not at all; lots of people probably struggle with crippling lack of self-worth, sadness that makes it a bit hard to get up and go, or any one of a number of neuro/learning issues that makes it a mighty struggle to make the words go.

My point is, it's hard. Not impossibly hard, but hard in the way it might be for someone with fibromyalgia to walk across a parking lot. They can do it, maybe, once in a while, but boy will it take it out of them. Best to give them that handicap parking spot by the door. Or to take another example: how a shoe-horn might really make dressing yourself easier for people who struggle to bend over, not that they absolutely can't on their own but it just makes life a little less onerous and autonomy a little more practical. It's actually hard to the point that there's a higher "entry cost" to start writing (even when inspired and willing, it just seems to take such effort), and I'm both less able to detect certain writing errors than most people are (I'm infamous for using similar-sounding words and not being able to see the difference). That's the cognitive side. The psychological side makes it harder to bear up under the embarrassment or sense of failure of publicly posting a story full of that.

I'm sure this all takes a different form for different people, and is probably more or less imposing for some than others. But I think most people experience this to a degree, and for a lot of people (not all!) it's actually prohibitive. Or at least limiting. There's probably a spectrum of increasing difficulty and less likelihood they'll actually participate as a writer. And there's also probably unnecessary negative experiences that make it harder to want to create a second time, too. Again, at the risk of getting too personal, I'm dealing with a smidge of that at the moment; I've dealt with worse and the past and I know other people have dealt with worse still. And so even if you push through and write the once, doing that without the helpful support makes it hard to write again, too.

Which is a shame. Because, again speaking for myself, I'm good at writing! I love having-written, and I think other people like when I've written, too. And even if people can't make that statement about themselves for whatever reason, I think they're still missing out on positive things. The ability to get better, or to have their ideas and imaginings read, or the community or the ability to play with fiction and pop culture in the unique writerly way. There's reasons this is all so good.

I think in fandom we talk about betas as a gift to the reader, a way to make sure the stories are suitably polished and easy to read. But I think also they can be such a huge help for the writer, giving her the tools and confidence and cheerleading and whatever else she needs to actually do the thing. I wonder if it would be helpful to think of beta-reading and helping betas find authors (and vice versa) the same way we do as coding sites so they work well with screen readers for the visually impaired, or avoiding flashing graphics and certain color schemes out of deference to epileptics and folks with certain kinds of color blindness.

All of which makes me think this is a problem community-builders and site-designers should tackle systemically. Not that we need to guarantee a beta for everyone, but building the spaces to help people find each other effectively is on the same level as those other disability-friendly design elements.

Durned if I know how to do that in practice, though. Devil's in the details, as always.

Date: 2019-11-07 09:58 pm (UTC)
hhimring: Estel, inscription by D. Salo (Default)
From: [personal profile] hhimring
The SWG Discord server has one channel for finding beta readers. That sort of thing may not be quite what you are thinking of, though, perhaps?

Did you find a beta for that fic, when you were looking, earlier?

Date: 2019-11-07 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marta-bee.livejournal.com
I didn't, and ended up posting it un-beta'd. I'm not saying that was a mistake precisely because the story is done and out there (which is lovely), but there were some lukewarm reactions from one reader that hit me harder than I think they would have if the story had felt more finished. I'm a bit ashamed of this, but it's enough that I wouldn't rush back into writing another Tolkien story just now, though I think I might if I had some beta help.

So yeah, this is perhaps a bit Marta working through things in the guise of the third person. :-) But it's also kind of a low-level, long-time-brewing response to a conversation I've seen a few places. The argument seems to be that emphasizing the importance of beta readers and even say everyone should work with them amounts to gate-keeping and shaming writers who don't take their craft seriously enough. And in the back of my head it's always felt like that response just was approaching betaing from the wrong starting point; that it was less about making better stories and more about helping authors take that leap into fanfic writing. Which even a decade in can just be scary.

Anywho. Yes, I am still very interested in finding a good beta, though that really wasn't the only reason I wrote this. I only have the fuzziest idea of what Discord even is, but if you'll drop me a link I'd love to check it out.

Date: 2019-11-08 09:16 am (UTC)
hhimring: Estel, inscription by D. Salo (Default)
From: [personal profile] hhimring
I'm sorry! I thought of offering, I just couldn't do it in the time you needed it done.
I think maybe beta requirements used to be used for gatekeeping in the past more than they are now. When it gets discussed now, there tends to be more stress on that writer and beta need to be a good fit and work out first what they need from each other, which can under some circumstances feel like quite a responsibility for the beta as well as the actual work involved--there is the idea that you might say the wrong thing and somehow block the writer rather than help.
I think there is a lot more writing done than there are betas available for, now, and some people who would really need one (because of disability, because they are not native speakers, or for other reasons) don't get one. It is a concern, but not one I feel able to make up for, because of too many other pressures on me.

The invitation to the SWG discord is here: https://discord.gg/4sRxMSG

Date: 2019-11-08 04:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aearwen2.livejournal.com
Another consideration is that, at least in the Silm/Tolkien fandom, we are a fandom more or less in decline at the moment. There are far fewer truly active writers posting; places like HASA, Lizard Council, MEFAs, and other archives have shut down business for one reason or another; and there simply isn't a place where fellow writer-fans can meet, greet, get to know, contact, arrange to beta, etc. LJ used to be that central commons, but even that has diminished since the Russians took over - and Dreamwidth never did truly fill in the gap entirely.

Personally, I was part of The Lizard Council, an online writers' workshop at Proboards, where we all had a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" arrangement on beta'ing prior to posting. Frankly, I'd give my left arm and leg to get that place up and actively running again (even without Darth Fingon running it) to fill in the void.

Alas, altho I mention this here and there from time to time, it still languishes - the website still up and functional, but nobody around to play with.
Edited Date: 2019-11-08 05:01 pm (UTC)

Date: 2019-11-10 11:15 am (UTC)
hhimring: Estel, inscription by D. Salo (Default)
From: [personal profile] hhimring
It is true that the Tolkien fandom is contracting at present. But it looks more in decline than it really is, from the vantage point of LJ and the problems the smaller archives have been having. For example, when I tried to find Marta's fic on AO3, I scrolled down more than two hundred recent posts in the Tolkien tag and still hadn't got to the date she posted it on and had to do a search instead. And at least one Tolkien fandom exchange I know of, the TRSB, has grown from last year to this.

The loss of communal spaces has been a real problem, though. As you say, it is more difficult to set up things like beta-reading without those. The trend to Discord now does allow some of that, but the Discord servers are more split up and less easy to find than LJ used to be and also you can tell by how Discord operates that it was basically designed as a site for Gamers and that may not be everyone's cup of tea. (Dawn is planning to set up a forum when the SWG mods transfer SWG to Drupal, but that hasn't happened yet.)

I never got into the Lizard Council, but I know it meant a lot to many Silm friends and they have fond memories of it!

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