I think you're right. I know in my own students and people who are a few years younger than me, I see this idea that even our relationships are self-centred. (I am with this guy, I'm friends with this person, whatever - because they are "good" for me.) I was telling my shrink that I see so much of Aristotle's approach to human nature in my own thoughts, it was like I was born 2,500 years too late. But maybe iit's nowhere near that drastic, and I'm just old-fashioned for my time.

I'm sorry for your niece. So sad that she and so many others don't even get what they're missing.